This past Sunday we wrapped up our series on “Guiding Principles” (the message it up on the website now) with number four:
Encourage parents to take their place as the primary spiritual instructors of their children.
In this message we looked at the biblical responsibility of parents to teach their children God’s Word. We also talked about the common models in American churches and the history of these models. Here are some interesting statistics I found though that challenge us to consider why we’re resisting the biblical model and not working our strength:
According to researcher George Barna among those ages 18-29 who attended church weekly before graduating from high school, 58% are no longer active in a church.
LifeWay Research conducted a survey by of more than 1,000 adults ages 18-30 and found that 70 % of young adults ages 23 to 30 stopped attending church regularly for at least a year between 18 and 22.
If the current model (separate the family in different parts of the building, hiring a “professional” to build relationships and with out teenagers and have Mom and Dad no where in sight when spiritual instruction is taking place, creating a youth “sub-culture” within the church) is so effective, then why does the church have such a horrible retention rate of young people after high school?
Barna cites one of the reasons that many “20-somethings” struggle to find their place in churches is that many young people may feel overlooked as potential leaders. The study showed that just 4% of young adults currently serve as a lay leader at their church; only 12% have been a leader at any time in the past two years. Older adults are three to four times more likely to serve as church leaders.
Is it any surprise that young people don’t get involved as leaders and don’t feel like there’s a fit for them in “big church” when we’ve separated them in from the life of church through “children’s church” and “youth group” for 12 or more years of their lives?
In a Barna Group study, teens were asked who has “a lot of influence” over their lives. Parents came in at 78 percent and friends were the next closest at 51 percent. Church pastors and priests came in at a lowly 27 percent.
Why do we send teenagers away for weeks, weekends and segregate them from adults, moms and dads in programming ministry to them when those are the most influential people in their lives?
Children mirror their parents’ behavior. Parents who attend church weekly tend to have teens who worship weekly, while 78 percent of parents who never attend worship services have teens who never attend. The same correlation applies to Bible reading and prayer habits. Parents who responded positively to the question of whether it is important to raise children with religious or spiritual values had children who were significantly involved with faith. –American Bible Society
Is it possible that we’ve gotten the cart ahead of the horse in our attempts at reaching unchurched teens by failing to teach our adults to live missionally and reach unchurched moms and dads?
As someone who served as “Youth Minister” for over seven years in two churches and spent close to three years before that doing children’s camps, youth camps and special events, it has been a long journey with much resistance in coming to these conclusions. At the end of the day though, I believe this is the most fruitful plan for the long term spiritual growth of young people and churches, not to mention the most biblical.
